How To Tell My Girlfriend Im Gay
Hopefully, your girlfriend is free from this nonsense. Depending on where you live in the world, there might be a good chance that she is accepting. More and more, people are accepting of different sexual orientations, so you might be surprised to find she has a mild reaction.
At any rate, here are a few pointers on how to work this all out. Instead, spend some time with yourself and process these thoughts on your own. You may even want to seek a therapist if the issue bothers you enough. You can get there, but be patient! To soften the blow, try not to be too graphic at first when you describe your desires. You may be eager to share all of your fantasies the moment she seems accepting especially if you were trying to steer towards a three-way , but even if she acts casual about it, she might still need time to process.
Some bi guys are not romantically interested in men at all and only find them physically attractive. Let me tell you, though: This will not make her feel better. Your intentions may be good, but this could put all kinds of images in her mind that will make it worse. It could trigger a snowball of thoughts that you may want to avoid for the time being.
Let her have her reaction. You're going to have to think of the least painful way to break it off, and only you will know how. You don't want a public scene—you don't want to embarrass or hurt her any more than necessary. Try to find a place that doesn't hold any loving memories; that will make it harder on both of you.
You don't want to remember this every year, and it isn't fair to burden her that way, either. That will direct her on the road you will need her to be on. Don't beat around the bush. Come to the point, but try not to be so blunt that you're more crushing than necessary. Breakups hurt and you need to keep that in mind, but do your best to care for her emotions as much as possible - don't forget that you are the one who screwed up here.
She fell in love with you in good faith, believing that you returned her feelings. If it turns out this was just a passing fancy for you, then she is most definitely blameless. Example: "Katie, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, because it was a surprise to me, too. I think you're so great, and there's nothing you did wrong; this is just me having a lot of feelings for you that I've never had for any other girl. I'm not saying I never was in love with you, I'm saying, though, that I can't keep it going.
I care about you, but only as a friend, and I hope you won't hate me for very long. Show enough sympathy so that she understands that you feel bad about breaking her heart, without becoming so overly emotional about it that you let her talk you into "trying one more time.
This is a huge piece of news. She is going to cry, and you'll need to show some sympathy about that. You're not going to make things all better, because in the end, you're going to walk out the door and leave her. But you do owe her the consideration of allowing her to vent some of her frustration and grief to you, and treat her kindly if and when she cries. This is a huge deal to her—just wait until a guy breaks your heart, and then you'll know how she's feeling right now.
The fact that your feelings for her were not real in no way means that her feelings for you were not real. Spend enough time with her, talk with her, answer her questions try to dodge any about new male interests, though—that could hurt her even worse. When you feel you've given her all the answers she needs, and when the conversation starts going in circles you're repeating the same things over and over , it's time to go.