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I Ve Been A Long Time Leaving


Decide in advance to whom and what you want to share [while considering] those outside your intimate circle," says Taibbi. Exchange Your Things After the dust has settled, it's a good time to determine how you'll exchange your things. Consider "ripping off the Band-Aid" to get past the worst of it. By removing these reminders from your lives, you'll both be able to leave the pain in the past sooner.

You can choose a method that works for you. If it helps you move on, you might decide to leave each other's things with a mutual friend or send them in the mail. Some people prefer the step of closure , however, so be understanding if your ex would rather meet in person to say goodbye. Discuss Contact Some of us don't like to stay friends with our exes, while others find the transition into life as individuals easier when they can still reach out.

At first, it might be best to stop contact with each other to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Taibbi also notes that if your ex has a hard time accepting the breakup, you'll need to be consistent with your interactions. If you've decided to stop contact, resist the urge to respond when you're lonely so you aren't sending mixed signals. Be Kind to Yourself Even if it was your idea to end a long-term relationship, the situation can still be emotionally taxing on both people.

When you're having trouble being alone or missing your ex, devise a plan for coping. That might mean finding a new hobby to occupy your thoughts, or focusing on spending time with your friends.

Whatever route you choose, it's important to cope with the situation instead of avoiding it. It's okay to let go of any blame you might place on yourself; all relationships are different, and for most people, it takes a few tries to find what's right.

Whether you're embracing the freedom of single life or imagining your dream partner, be sure to keep your own best interest in mind. Rosemary Guyatt right recommends providing honest, constructive feedback in exit interviews. Credit: Rosemary Guyatt This can be an issue in the sciences: researchers and investigators can take with them a wealth of knowledge when they leave, says Rosemary Guyatt, general manager of people and culture at the Australian Human Resources Institute in Melbourne.

How to move lab The next step in leaving a job is telling your manager. As a lab head who was responsible for staff and PhD students, Coultas had some big loose ends to tie up. Although some of that was serendipity, Coultas did consider the effects of his departure on other staff members as much as was practical and tried to reduce those effects — which everyone should do when leaving a job. Even if that date is predetermined by your contract, it might be possible to negotiate an earlier leaving date if that works for your employer.

Leigh Coultas suggests making arrangements for a smooth handover of duties. It was more than five months from the time he decided to take a position at Neurocrine Biosciences in San Diego, California, to when he actually moved into the new job. Sorting out what to do with his grants, which he had worked hard to gain during his tenure, was the easy part. Of the remaining ones, Stahl was able to transfer one to a graduate student, who was continuing the research, and the other was shared with his co-investigator.

But a larger challenge was closing off the clinical side of his work, because he had patient appointments scheduled up to six months in advance. Another challenge in the sciences can be managing research publications in the pipeline.

Leaving a research project midway might mean that your name is less prominent in the author list — or it could even be left off altogether. Maston says many companies will have a resignation checklist that will guide departing employees through the many steps needed to close off their time as an employee. This can cover everything from working through benefits to handing over passwords, computers and e-mail accounts. As your time draws to a close, you might be invited — or requested — to participate in an exit interview.

Guyatt says not all employers do exit interviews, but they are more likely to be standard practice at larger organizations that want to better understand why employees leave.

Doing a good exit interview is a careful balance between honesty and restraint, particularly if there are questions about sensitive topics, such as interpersonal conflicts. Exit interviews are also often not anonymous, so what is said in them could make its way back to colleagues or managers. In the case of more serious issues in a workplace, such as bullying or harassment, Guyatt says it is important to raise them before leaving, typically with someone from human resources and preferably someone senior.

She advises being factual, not just relying on hearsay, and to consider putting your perspective in writing.