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Carol I've always been cheering any type of queer representation in the film and television space, and I think we're getting more and more. We still need more, but I am always comforted to see that representation start to really come about in a mainstream way. I loved the movie Carol—that was one of my favorite movies that came out.
I've just always craved more. And I've always craved to create things that I've always wanted to watch or listen to. There's been such a gaping hole for me, just as a queer woman of color trying to find exactly who I am and exactly why my journey has always been hard. That's always been a great motivator for me to direct my music videos and to hopefully direct features and television.
Reality TV I love all those dating shows. I just love reality television, and I want to see people like me up there as well. I don't know why we don't have that representation, because queer people are everywhere and we are mainstream.
And so I was really inspired to create a music video for "For the Girls" where anyone could find love. Directing this music video was a dream come true, as was casting the contestants. We had queer people in front of the camera, behind the camera. I think I was so surprised by how much in-person presence I needed from the queer community, because we've been in isolation and have been connecting with each other on the internet, and texting, and Zooming and all this stuff.
But just being physically with people that have similar experiences and feeling that community was the greatest gift ever. It reminded me of when my fans tell me how wonderful it is to go to my concerts and what a safe space it feels like.
I was experiencing that on my own music video shoot, like, gosh, this just feels like oxygen. This feels right, and I feel like I can truly be myself. Every single person, I think, felt very similarly.
It was an incredible shoot, and it was so fun because we did multi-cam the way we shot it. I was just like, "Wow, should I get into reality? This is so much fun. I think Lance Bass coming out, for real, when that happened, that was a big moment for me too. It's been a culmination of many moments. Many moments of normalization that had led me to truly love myself and be who I am today. And so I think that it's so important for people to encourage one another to have a safe space, to be their authentic selves, because every single branch on that tree is leading to someone fully emerging.
Being "Lesbian Jesus" At the time, I didn't know that nickname was going to stick, and it's really stuck to the point of it being in the Urban Dictionary. I'm so grateful for my fans because they have made me feel so normalized and seen and celebrated.
I just want them to feel the same way.