Trojan Airguns
Perdigón cabezón

My Doctor Flirts With Me


There are rules and LAWS about this stuff, because of power dynamics! He is your doctor! Find another doctor immediately- I would find this behavior disturbing, and it would make me NOT trust him.

Like stuff like that should only happen if you'd done all the things to make this as okay as possible, finding another phsycian- and after a period of time away this can vary depending on laws though! You can't have someone as a professional in your life and then move to date them. Cut your losses and run.

And if you desire report him to his professional board. This is NOT okay. I would find another doctor and report him to every authority I could think of. One of them tickled my feet while I was in a hospital bed. One of them kissed me on the cheek at the end of an appointment. But he smiled a lot. Our baby came too early and died shortly after birth. Honestly, in the extensive reading I did in the wake of that loss, I learned that my condition really is difficult to prevent in a first pregnancy or was at the time, at least.

But maybe it would have. It might make for a romantic moment. That said, honestly, I kind of doubt that a person who has been trained to be a doctor has cast aside all of their training to act inappropriately with only one patient in their entire career. I love this woman! Humans like to be liked. This doctor's actions and behavior, in themselves, set you up for a rapport of inappropriate and non-professional feelings.

His actions are exactly the sort of thing where I wouldn't be surprised to see him in the news a few years from now, with worse accusations against him.

But my advice holds if you're both men. This is far, far outside the realm of okay. Please find a different doctor ASAP. I would think he was on a power trip and that he was violating all the ethical codes he'd been taught and agreed to as a licensed professional. I would think, "this is a guy who gets off on abusing his power and manipulating people. We're kind of groomed to be flattered when someone shows interest in us, but in this case it's more like "a doctor who seems to prey on his patients seems to be preying on me.

The last doctor who behaved like this around me eventually sexually assaulted me when I was under anaesthesia, and did the same to enough women to finally lose his license. Doctors like this are why I do not see male doctors for anything where I might at any point be unconscious or medically incapacitated in their presence.

Please, please understand that his unethical behavior is neither normal or nor acceptable by the tenets of his profession in any way, and is also an extremely clear sign that you should not become involved with him romantically.

The level of casual impropriety here is stark and awful. There is simply no way that you are the only person with whom he behaves like this, and just because you find it exciting and flattering does not mean that anyone else he is creeping on will feel the same. This is not a man to trust with your medical needs or your relationship needs. Please get yourself out of this situation.

Trust your instinct that it's not professional - your doctor MUST be professional with you. I think this is what Athanassiel meant, but just to underline: Find another doctor, and if you want to date that doctor or any future doctor, ask him out after you've stopped being his patient.

Do not ask this doctor out, now or ever. Fine, if it's all that dandy to you, look for another doctor, start dating this doctor, and as soon as you're close enough, read him the riot act on professional behavior.

But the question ought to have been about his impulse control. His obvious lack of it would be for me a solid "crush be damned, move on, and fast", like others said. And the concern that he might have this kind of shtick ready for not only one patient kind of does the rest, doesn't it? You don't want to end up in a position where you are made to wonder what he's doing whenever he's working and you're not there to wonder about his intentions.

Then about 10 years ago I started really hearing story after story about women who just did not feel comfortable around some guys, and I thought, "But I'm not doing it to be creepy! Ergo I'm not in the wrong! Some women have told me they don't like that and I don't act that way with them! I mean, even my kids had their limits on closeness: when they were young, they would climb on me and want to be next to me ALL THE TIME, then they hit their teenage years and there are some days they get completely aggro when I move in their general direction and physical contact is a no-no.

But I never thought he was flirting. Your instinct is almost certainly accurate, his behavior is over the line, and he should not be flirting with patients. Assess the care you're getting, and if it's quite good, stay with the doc, but pull away. If there are repercussions from establishing boundaries, change doctors.

Doctors have a lot of power over patients and a doctor has to have excellent boundaries. You do not want to date this level of creepy inappropriate. Assume he is doing this with other patients, too, and would continue to do it with other patients if you were dating him.

In this case, though, I have to agree with the others that you are likely not the only person he does this to. I would tell them that no matter how attractive this doctor was, the fact that he has such terrible judgment as to act in such an unprofessional way, violating the doctor-patient relationship, means they they should run far, far away.

And report him to his licensing board. Maybe this guy is not generally a creep, maybe you are his One True Luv doubtful though , but for sure he is totally lacking in judgment, personal discipline, and professionalism. If he had any sense at all he would have gone down that path well before reaching the point of cupping the side of your face ew. Putting on my non-professional hat Say you did start a relationship with him.

And then, weeks or months or heaven forbid, years later, it's confirmed that he's behaved this way with lots of patients. Maybe even outright sexually assaulted some. Perhaps even teens or children. And you find out because someone finally had the courage to report him. How will you feel? Especially knowing you could have stopped it NOW?

I'm not sure I've ever seen a thread on here with such a strong consensus. That ought to be a pretty good indicator you should listen. I'm sorry. It's got to hurt to hear this. But please, do something about this guy for those that aren't strong enough to speak up.

There are laws to protect people from abuses of authority. You'll have to make up your own mind about whether touching your cheek is such an abuse, and whether your doctor is on a power trip and does this to every woman patient, or whether he really likes you, and you alone. If you have a crush on him, I'd say tentatively ask him. As with any relationship, be prepared to be hurt.

But don't let the idea that this could be a bad thing put off checking. People do actually meet and fall in love, and not under circumstances prescribed by caution and regulatory agencies. You can then ask the guy out if you are set on it. If you were my sister I would tell you this guy is a creep and the chances are very high he does this to plenty of other people.

Your crush on the doctor is so apparent, even before you mentioned it, and if you said this to me using this same language I'd wonder if you were projecting. If you told me this story in conjunction with the other stuff about the touching and flirting, I would think that this doctor was being an inappropriate tease but I would still not conclude that he is actually romantically interested in you.

If it happened to me, to be honest I probably would have changed doctors already. I don't want or need that kind of intimate Venn diagram in my life. I am chiming in to add that it would also be wildly inappropriate for you to be flirting with him.

It is unclear from your question whether you have taken any steps to indicate your feelings to him, but, again, it would be inappropriate to do so as long as you are his patient.

I had an awesome surgeon by the way, he did so well that I healed up faster than I ever could have imagined!

But I digress. I agree with the others who say that if you personally feel like he crossed a line then it's your right to find a different doctor. Personally, from my perspective having gotten gallbladder surgery, I know that overall his exam sounds about standard but I also agree that he should have maybe said something before yanking your pants down to look at your c section scar. If it were me I might have made a comment about it to him to let him know I was uncomfortable but my gut feeling based on what you've said is just that he might just be an overly friendly doctor.

Some people like docs with that type of method and some don't. It sounds like he is not for you so it's completely ok for you to get a new surgeon since you're not comfortable with him. I got a second opinion before my surgery because I wasn't convinced that I needed it. But all the doc had to do was gently push on the gallbladder and I literally jumped off the table because it hurt so bad. I could have had the second opinion doc do the surgery but I opted for the first one cause my friend just had the same surgery a month before me and she loved this guy.